Juliet Starling VS Travis Touchdown
Juliet Starling VS Travis Touchdown is a What-If? Death Battle by LakuitaBro01.2 '' Description: ''Lollipop Chainsaw VS No More Heroes! It's a battle of Suda51's most extravagant and bizarre characters! Interlude: Boomstick: Ever play a weird game and ever wonder "man, I wonder what can top this?" Well Suda51 has you covered. Wiz: Suda51 is a gaming company infamous for two games and two characters. Boomstick: Juliet Starling, the busty San Romero Cheerleader from Lollipop Chainsaw. Wiz: And Travis Touchdown, the No More Hero from No More Heroes. Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick. Wiz: And it;s our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to see who would win a Death Battle. Juliet Starling: Wiz: San Romero, a bustling city in what we can assume is California, was hit by a zombie outbreak one day, trampling buildings and killing off many of the survivors. Boomstick: During all of this, a girl named Juliet Starling was celebrating her 18th birthday party, and what a day to reveal to your boyfriend that your family has a history of being zombie killers! Wiz: Yes, Juliet is a zombie killer and was the one spearheading the attack on the zombies, or more specifically, the smart ones named the Dark Purveyors, who were revived to life by her classmate Swan. Boomstick: Juliet then began her journey to kill the Dark Purveyors Zed, Vikke, Mariska, Josey, and Lewis Legend. Of course, all of them ended up getting chopped into pieces before Juliet's chainsaw. Wiz: So Swan summoned Killabilly, a giant zombie Elvis that started to destroy the rest of the city, and of course, Juliet killed him. Boomstick: All because some goth freak got cockblocked by a jock in highschool. Wiz: Juliet is a cheerleader by trade, and as such she posses a lot of athletic ability, allowing her to accomplish certain feats no one should normally do. Boomstick: She's also been taught how to do karate by her sensei and actually did lessons on how to fight with a chainsaw, which is something I need to learn too. Wiz: She also has a star soul power, where beating enough zombie will allow her to enhance her abilities while in a monochromatic rainbow color. Boomstick: Lets talk about her weaponry though! That chainsaw allows her to pull off many techniques, like the Chainsaw Dash or... Chainsaw Blaster. Wiz: Juliet's chainsaw is a special one. Not only can she slash with it efficiently and do certain techniques, but she can also use it to shoot zombies from a far range. Boomstick: She can also use her trusty Pom-Poms to bash the heads in of zombies and people to stun them, though her chainsaw is more efficient. Wiz: But her best of help is her boyfriend, Nick, who was just reduced to a head that can talk, because Juliet did that... it's a weird story. Boomstick: she can use him at long and short range, the techniques being the Nick Popper, which stuns enemies in a short distance and the Nick Shoot where she punts him at the enemies farther away to stun them all. Wiz: Nick Roulette also allows Juliet to choose an attack, but they also need to be cautious in order to do so. The Nick Toss also stuns enemies around her, buying her time to finish the Nick Roulette. Boomstick: Juliet also keeps Lollipops on her that can restore her health by 50%, but to make this a fair fight, we're only giving her one. Wiz: Juliet is a strong fighter, however she does have her weaknesses, like such she isn't very experienced, and is sort of naive. Boomstick: Also, a lot of the things she's killed are brain dead zombies, unless you count the Dark Purveyors but then again they consist of a mosh pit junkie, a viking metalhead, a damn hippie, a funk musician in a diaper, and a rock n roll greaser. Wiz: But with a city avenged and more adventures to be had, can Juliet Starling beat the No More Hero? Travis Touchdown: Wiz: Living as an otaku in Santa Destroy, California, Travis Touchdown had a decent life up until he was 27, where his parents were brutally murdered by an assassin. After winning a beam katana in an auction, he became a hitman. Boomstick: But that wasn't giving him a lot of money to buy video games so he went out and killed a man named Helter-Skelter and he was thrust into the UAA, basically the Justice League if everyone wanted to kill each other. Wiz: He slowly rose to Rank 1 and found that his lover at that time was really his sister, and said sister revealed her backstory and that she also killed Travis's parents. You can already tell that she was murdered right after. Boomstick: After that, Travis quit his job, that is until three years later where he started to fight again and then was motivated further buy the ol' head in a bag tossed through his apartment window. Wiz: After that he quit yet again. But he is gonna appear in a new game soon so he may just redo it all over again. Boomstick: Now let's talk about his arsenal of beam katanas, but lets just talk about them ost notable ones. Wiz: The Blood Berry is Travis's first beam katana he won in an auction, and it's an all around type of weapon: Normal damage, normal speed. Boomstick: The Tsubaki Mk-III is the last weapon of a family of prototype Tsubakis, being the longest reaching and the second strongest, the strongest going to the Tsubaki Mk-II. ''' Wiz: The Rose Nasty is a pair of dual wield beam katanas, a set that's damage is reliant of the amount of hits in a combo can be pulled off. '''Boomstick: And finally, the Peony. Depending on the users ki, the blade will be expanded or contracted, and it's a fucking powerhouse too, able to easily destroy a large crowd of thugs easily. Wiz: But all beam katanas have drawbacks, for example the Blood Berry is just a beginners katana and is really nothing special, the Tsubaki MK-II is very heavy, and as such it's swung very slowly and getting hit results in a high amount of knockback. Boomstick: The Rose Nasty is quick and all, but not only does the damage rely on the combo number, it takes a while for Travis to regain his momentum if he misses, and the Peony's size and power is reliant on Travis's health. Wiz: The only katana with no really drawback is the Tsubaki MK-III, being hte exception. And after a while, all beam katans need to be recharged, again, the Tsubaki MK-III being the exception. Boomstick: Travis also has his own ways of getting around in the form of a motorcycle called the Schpeltiger II, which is strong enough to ram into opponents and hurt them. Wiz: Travis also knows many wrestling moves that he was taught by watching "do it yourself" tapes form old wrestlers, his most notable wrestling techniques are the Dragon Suplex, Brain Buster, Full Nelson Suplex, and the Tiger Suplex. Boomstick: And due to some weird otaku power, Travis can enter Dark Side Mode by performing a successful death blow, and Dark Side Mode can have five different trances. Strawberry on the Shortcake allows Travis's speed to rise exponentially while being able to kill anything easily. ''' Wiz: Blueberry Cheese Brownie fires off large waves of energy that, again, obliterate enemies. Cranberry Chocolate Sundae slows down time so that only Travis can move, and during this time he can kill enemies one by one until time expires. '''Boomstick: Anarchy in the Galaxy calls in pure hot pink energy that destroys anything that moves, literally evaporating them. Finally, Cherry slows down his enemies and leaves them open to be sliced the fuck up. Wiz: But Travis does have his flaws. He's overconfident and can be fooled by simple tricks, and most of his katanas have a time where they need to be recharged, and in a Death Battle like this, Dark Side Mode can't really be initiated... that is unless there's a zombie around. Boomstick: But when you're the world's most dangerous assassin who can harness the powers of anime land, who the fuck could stop you? Fight: "Of all the places to get hit by a zombie fucking apocalypse." Santa Destroy, California was hit by a zombie plague, overtaking most of its citizens. The UAA, a infamous organization, had its members try to combat this problem. Only one man was not present in the fight. Because he was too busy watching anime. Travis Touchdown 'was walled in, zombies all around his motel, and he couldn't care less, they didn't find the stairs yet and he still had his front door barricaded with his bed and other stuff. After looking out the window, he sat back down and continued to watch, "enjoying" life. He was finally getting to the good part when he heard the revving of a chainsaw outside. He just ignored it until he heard a thud against his front door and the sound of the chainsaw getting closer. "Aw, fuck." He muttered as he fished around for one of his beam katanas. He finally put them on his belt when the chainsaw smashed through his door, along with a zombie. "What the FUCK is wrong with you?" he yelled at the person who just barged in. "Oh, sorry!" the girl in the cheerleading outfit said. Travis, surprisingly not fazed by her looks, glared. "Look, you just destroyed my only defense of not giving a shit about what's going on." "And?" "AND... uhh..." Travis thought hard. "I got nothing." "Well I have a solution." she said, Travis replying with a confused look. the cheerleader turned him towards the door. "How about you get off your ass and help your city!" And with that, she kicked him outside and over the railing, causing him to land flat on his face. He got up and cracked his neck. "Alright, slut, why don't you come down here so I can teach you how not to mess with the No More Hero!" "Is that really your name?" she questioned. "No it's Travis Touchdown... what's yours." "'Juliet Starling." And with that, she jumped down and behind Travis, across the parking lot. Travis whipped out the Blood Berry and and lit it up, holding it to the side. They both started running at each other, and in unison said "Let's fucking go!" FIGHT! Lollipop Chainsaw - VS Vikke Juliet slices first in a Chainsaw Dash, heading straight for Travis's head, but he ducks and slams his heel into her jaw, causing her to choke and stagger back. Travis ran up to slice, but he was met with a chainsaw blade stopping his blow, and he and Juliet went into a power struggle, and Travis won it, roundhouse kicking her into a street lamp. "Hey! At least use your fucking sword!" Juliet yelled, starting to fire off ammunition from her Chainsaw Blaster. Travis ducked behind a car, becoming a sitting duck. Juliet started to reload when he looked over the hood of the car and at her. "Hey! At least use your fucking chainsaw!" he yelled at her, mocking her. Juliet swung the Blaster at the car and aimed, firing into the tail pipe. "Oh fuck-" Travis uttered before the car exploded and sent him hurtling through the wall and into an apartment. The car spun oon its front bumper and was propped against the wall. Juliet started running to investigate the damage, smoke and gas in the area still, but she did not see any sign of Travis. Suddenly, Travis grabbed her by the waist and suplexed her into a hole in the concrete made by the explosion. He then whipped out the Blood Berry again and chopped at her, but went into another powerstruggle against her, this time Juliet cheated and kicked him in the dick and onto the apartment's couch, where she ran and jumped to slice. Travis rolled out of the way and parried, but the chainsaw cut through the hilt of the Blood Berry, destroying it. Travis shouted in surprise and stared at Juliet as she raised the chainsaw to bring it down on top of him again. He bolted from the couch and ran to his room, blocking it while he tried to find the right beam katana. Juliet cut down the barricade and didn't see a sign of Travis anywhere , just a bunch of empty boxes scattered around the floor, and a bunch of anime merchandise. "Fucking weeb." Juliet muttered before having her left arm sliced open by a slice form another beam katana. Travis was behind her and wielding the Peony. Juliet reached to her waist and tossed something at Travis, who caught it. "You really think that this is gonna hurt me- JESUS FUCK!" Travis screamed out, throwing it back at Juliet, who started to Chainsaw Dash. It was Nick's head. Juliet staggered and Travis pushed her out of his room and onto her back in the parking lot down below him. No More Heroes 2: Philistine Juliet got up and looked up at him. "Too much of a coward to fight me up front so you snuck up on me? Tsk" she said, putting him down. "Don't you ever shut up with the taunting?" Travis yelled down, ready to jump. "She never does" said a voice from no where. Travis looked around, confused, as Juliet ran at the second floor pillars, cutting them and causing it and Travis to fall. The No More Hero landed on his back and was dazed for a second, before having to roll out of the way to dodge a swing. "Alright listen up kid," Travis began, "I don't know who the FUCK you think you are or how you got here, but you're destroying my fucking shelter, just because I'm not "helping with the apocalypse? Why?!" he yelled, confused. He swung at her and they clashed, trying to overpower each other. "You have weapons and you're skilled, I guess this is just my way to get you to pepped for fighting." Juliet then won said powerstruggle and stepped on his shoe and then slicing him across the chest, sending him jumping back in pain. "You know what? You're just a fucking cunt-" Travis began before a zombie attacked him. Travis promptly sliced it down the middle in a single Death Blow. "See? You're making some progress." Juliet said. her words appearing to slow down as a slot machine appeared in the corner, matching up three BARS, activating Cranberry Chocolate Sundae. Travis in his state quickly suplexed Juliet into the ground, got up, and started to basically whip her with the Peony, lacerating her skin and cutting deep, once it was over, her slammed his foot onto her hand so she couldn't use her chainsaw. Juliet quickly came to get hit by the pain and screamed out, wounds bleeding. "You want to fight still?" Travis mocked her, not seeing that Juliet was reaching for her pocket, pulled out a lollipop, and ate it. Instantly, most of the lacerations had disappeared. Travis was dumbfounded and was soon knocked on his ass, trying to shield himself from getting cut in half. Travis luckily got out and backed himself into the wall, and he and Juliet charged at each other. As Travis swung, however, the Peony's battery died and he was charging head first into a mechanized death machine. He yelled out, ducked, and started to suplex her. As if it was in slow motion, he saw the head strapped to her waist look at him and open its mouth. "Hey." He screamed again and bolted across the parking lot. "What the hell? Why is that head alive?!" he shouted, trying to cope with what he just saw. "Hm? Oh, this is Nick, my boyfriend." Juliet calmly explained, touching Nick's hair. "Yeah, and I'm pissed that you've been beating up my girl!" the head yelled at Travis, who just sat there with an open mouth. DmC - What the Fuck is Wrong with you Travis quickly got out the best sword he thought of, the Tsubaki MK-III. He held it at his side and prepared to face off again when Juliet punted Nick at Travis, who ended up getting knocked down. "Hey are you fucking biting me?!" Travis yelled, punching Nick in the temple. Juliet ran up and sliced at Travis, who barely dodged the blow, and swept kicked her. Travis rolled to his feet and sliced, hitting Juliet in the calf, causing her to drop to her knees and yell out. "Juliet! Throw me again!" Nick yelled out. Juliet staggered to her feet, grabbed her boyfriend, and sent him hurtling towards Travis again, knocking him on his ass. Juliet ran up and brought the chain saw down, hitting Travis right through his left side, not hitting anything important. He coughed up blood and stabbed her in the side as well, kicking her off and rolling to his side and struggling to get up. Juliet did the same, but she had Nick in her hand. "Don't... don't you fucking dare..." Travis muttered, obviously talking about having Nick thrown at him again. Juliet did dare, and chucked Nick again. This time, Travis sidestepped and Nick hit the car from earlier, which was still propped up against the wall. "Ough! Jesus Christ Juliet! Help?!" Nick called for her, and she started running. "You know what I'm tired of, Nick?" Travis asked. "What are you tired of birdshit" Nick groaned, Juliet getting closer. "You!", Travis started, kicking the the car forwards, "getting fastballed at me!" Nick screamed, and a sickening splat echoed through out the area as the car landed on him. Juliet screamed, and at that moment, Travis ran up and chris browned her to the floor. Grabbing her by the throat, stabbed her in the stomach twice, and he threw her into an apartment, specifically the one blown up, with great strength and she landed right next to the source of a gas leak. Travis spotted her chainsaw and picked it up. "This is a pretty cool weapon, but how do I work this thi-" Travis started, but he pulled the trigger on accident and a round fired off into the apartment, scraping against the source of the gas leak, blowing up the entire complex, with Juliet along with it. KO! Travis was blown across the street, dazed. He finally got up and shook off any damage. "Well fuck there goes my home." he muttered before hopping on his bike and riding off to find a shelter. Results: Boomstick: FUCK YEAH! That was gruesome! Wiz: This fight was very close as any of the two could have overpowered the other and won, however, there are two main factors that allowed Travis to win. Boomstick: First of all, he held a pretty big speed advantage over Juliet, as he was able to pilot his mech easily and block the Elephant Cannon's laser. Wiz: And not to mention that Travis is way more experienced when it comes to this kind of stuff. The difference between them is that Travis always fights humans, and has fought someone similar to Juliet before, see Bad Girl. Boomstick: Meanwhile, Juliet fights the undead, who have no brain. The Dark Purveyors maybe but the only one who is similar to Travis may be Lewis Legend but at least Travis doesn't rely on his bike more than his brawn. Wiz: Nick did play a huge part in this fight, as he could've helped Juliet get in there to make a quick but devastating slash, however, not only is it not nearly as fast as the Elephant Cannon, but he's also dealt with a similar character, again, see Bad Girl. Boomstick: This must be a high school drama, because it looks like Juliet got leaked i nthe worst possible way. Wiz: The winner is Travis Touchdown. Category:What-If? Death Battles Category:LakuitaBro01.2 Category:'Company' themed Death Battles Category:'Video Games' themed Death Battles Category:'Battle of the Genders' themed Death Battles